Normal is just a setting on the washing machine


My journalism students start their staff meetings with a staff “check up” to see how everybody is doing. The emotion meter runs the spectrum. High. Low. Explosive. You name it. Typically, one wants to punch something, another is holding back tears, somebody is always hungry. The lone freshman enters the room in shock. Her innocence has once again put through the test. One week she witnessed the first kid her age sporting a beard. Another week she saw a kid her age who’s pregnant– not the same kid, by the way. She was dismayed.

We may be an odd bunch, but we’re TRYING to work together as a team. We’re not perfect. We’re small in number and big on learning respect and tolerance–at least that’s the goal. And not one of us is “right.” (You wouldn’t believe some of the stories I’ve heard from them–and they’re heard from me.) We are so DIFFERENT!

One of my guys summed up our cozy little staff by quoting one of his mom’s favorite sayings: Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

Ya know, wouldn’t that make a cool title for a book?

And so apropros. I’m sure if you’ve been to this blog at all you’re sick of hearing about my writing whoas, but I am on a quest for publication. I have been for years. I was sidetracked after the death of both of my parents, and I haven’t been able to get rolling again, but I will. My published writer friends tell me to be patient. I’m trying.

Maybe I’ll run into Little Richard. I have a character based on him in one of my books. Maybe he’ll read it. Maybe he’ll like it. Maybe he’ll like it a lot. Maybe he’ll introduce me to an editor who can’t wait to publish it. And my chances of that happening? Ummm hmmmm. Again, I’m not what you’d call “right.”

I’m doing a bit of “remodeling” at my home. While moving things around, I discovered a Beth Moore book I bought quite some time ago, but the timing of me finding it was perfect, serendipitous, if you will. It’s all about insecurity.

I snuggled under a blanket and read, read, read, soaking up all of her wisdom. Wow. Beth Moore feels insecure too? Maybe I’m not so different after all. (And, hey, Friend Who Sent Me a Message Last Night Confessing Your Bout with Insecurity, again the timing is right. I will let you read the book. But you aren’t so different. If fact, you’re pretty normal. We all feel like a fish out of water sometimes.)

I think a lot of us feel insecure with our appearance, our social status, our job performance, our relationships, etc. The list goes on and on.

I love, love, love people, but they terrify me. I’ve interviewed a terrorist, a child prodigy, and millionaires and celebrities. No problem. I feel 85% comfortable doing what I do. I get a tad bit nervous before we talk, but once I get caught up in the conversation, I’m relaxed. I figure it’s a gift to be able to hear another person’s story firsthand.

But when I have to interact with people I know, I come unglued, adults particularly. I’m more relaxed around my students–if I think they like me. But if I think they don’t, I walk on eggshells. Bad.

Adults are scary people. That’s why I think I’ll just stay a kid for the rest of my life.

When I’m in charge (i.e. in teacher mode). I’m a great observer. Like the Crocodile Hunter, I can read the signs of the child creatures. I know when they’re slipping into fight or flight mode. I can USUALLY tell if they like me or don’t.

Not so much with adults. Adult beasts have learned the fine art of wearing a façade. They schmooze, butter up, slap on sarcasm, tell inside jokes, manipulate, seduce, etc. Thank goodness, most of my young students have little experience with these techniques. As a result, we get along pretty well. I am not very good at those “techniques,” so in the great card game of adult human interaction, I never know what card to play with the hand I’ve been dealt.

Nevertheless, I’m still intrigued by people. I watched Midnight in Paris for the 20th time last week, and once again I made a new revelation. The lead character Gil steps back in time to mingle with his literary and art heroes–the Fitzgeralds, Gertrude Stein, Hemingway, Picasso. Quite interestingly, the movie depicts all of these greats as having their own vulnerabilities, well protected, but present nevertheless. We ALL have them.

I wish I could sit down with a few of these famous faces and just talk–minus the facades, minus the manipulation, minus the arrogance and haughty presentation. I want to understand the real THEM.

If you could pick TEN people to TALK to, who would they be? Why?

I have my ten. Some people might criticize me for not choosing all the great theologians, but you won’t find many “religious” people on this list. I can predict standard religious answers from people who appear perfect but who  hide their flaws, and the most genuine of saints, in my opinion, people like Mother Teresa or Billy Graham, are crystal clear.

My list includes people who are like muddy water. It’s hard to see through these people. My list includes some spiritual people, some eccentrics, and a few prodigals. People like you. People like me. People with flaws. People with potential. People with epiphanies. People with pain.

People are people. Everybody has a story.

Here we go:

Zelda Fitzgerald — She was such a free spirit, but F. Scott kept her roped in (at least that’s what the biographies say). She spent her the last years of her life in an asylum. Why? What drove her to such anguish?

Edgar Allan Poe — Never has a man ever seen so much misery. I want to know about the last days leading up to his death. Did he really have a relationship with God as I’ve read, or did he abandon the faith?

C.S. Lewis — I’d like to know what he thinks about J.K. Rowling, whom so many Christians deem devil-inspired.

Marilyn Monroe — I want to know whom she really loved, if she really loved, and who was responsible for her death.

Little Richard — It seems everyone in my town has met him but me. He seems to have such a kind heart. I want to see if it’s true. I want to tell him about my book!

Steven Tyler — He is maximum drive creativity wrapped in the appearance of  new-found sober sincerity, hopefully not faux. I want to know why he does what he does and what he really believes.

Benjamin Franklin — I could spend weeks talking to him about his rock star life during the colonial period. How did he invent? And where did he get those ideas? I think I know. Did he really lead a dark life in various secret societies?

Stevie Ray Vaughan — I hope to talk to him in heaven. Otherwise, I have a dozen questions about Jimi Hendrix, his guitar heroes, his guitars, and the helicopter crash.

Elvis Presley — I want to ask him about Memphis and his mama.

Rick Bragg — I’ve heard him speak, read all of his books. Maybe he could give me some real advice.

There she is. Now it’s your turn.

It’s wonderful when you can bring sparkle into people’s lives without fading away from your own true color. Keep the hue in you. ~ Dodinsky

The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.  ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Never apologize for showing feeling.  When you do so, you apologize for the truth.  ~ Benjamin Disraeli

You with the sad eyes / Don’t be discouraged / Oh I realize / Its hard to take courage / In a world full of people / You can lose sight of it all / And the darkness inside you / Can make you feel so small / But I see your true colors / Shining through / I see your true colors / And that’s why I love you / So don’t be afraid to let them show / Your true colors / True colors are beautiful, / Like a rainbow




6 thoughts on “Normal is just a setting on the washing machine

  1. Normal. Phtttttt!! 😛 I’m about as far from normal as a square penny. That’s OK. Truth be told, I kinda like me.
    Ten people to talk to, hmmmm…

    Jesus — I know he’s not a mortal, but he WAS. I’d like to ask Him about how he thought up stuff to create, if He ever redesigned anything, and lots more why’s and how’s. Mostly I’d like to hold His hand and walk and say thank you.

    Maya Angeliou (sp?) — I love her writings, and her wisdom is most uncommon. I think I’d ask her about serenity.

    Abraham Lincoln — He was a man ahead of his time. I’d like to ask him what more he would have accomplished (tried to) if he had lived.

    Sacajawea (sp?) — the Indian princess lady who escorted lewis and Clark on their expedition. What was the journey like.

    Elton John — I’d be too starstruck to speak. I have everything he has ever recorded (I think).

    Louis Armstrong — What was it like to space walk.

    Stephen King — Wicked good. His book “Desperation” prompted me to read the Bible cover to cover and that’s when I got saved. Bet he’d like to hear that. 🙂

    Laura Ingalls Wilder — Her books inspired me, taught me “old ways”, and kept me entertained when household events led me to try to become invisible.

    Andy Rooney — Loved his commentary. Haven’t been able to watch 60 minutes since he passed.

    My Grandpa — I miss his stories, his laugh, and his voice.

    That was harder than I thought it would be, to pick 10 people. Reading over the list, you know what… Ain’t a one of those folks “Normal” — put that in yer washer and spin it!! 😀

    • Well done! I especially like your wicked good choice of Stephen King. I would like to talk to him too. Believe it or not, The Stand is what prompted me to read the Bible more closely. I have such good intentions, but life throws me curves. I would like to say I’m going to read the Bible cover to cover in the new year. I also want to read Desperation, now that you’ve mentioned it. God can do anything He wants to, use whatever He wants to get people’s attention. The book doesn’t have to have Christian label on it. And sometimes the people He uses to get our attention don’t have a Christian label on them either.

  2. Leonardo da Vinci – Just think of the interesting conversations you could have with such a renaissance man.

    Switchfoot – I’ll count the band as one. Their music has meant a lot to me. I would like to have an opportunity to just get to know them and ask them about interesting experiences and interactions they’ve had during years of touring.

    Jane Austen – I love the way she communicates interpersonal fireworks and contention with subtlety and wit. I would like to meet her and observe her personality and conversation.

    Kid President – His youtube videos help me smile when I’m feeling down. I think it would be fun to meet him and talk with him.

    Moses – I think I struggle with several of the shortcomings and weaknesses that Moses did. I would like to listen to him describe how God worked in his heart and life. I would like to talk with him about the miraculous experiences the Hebrews had as God delivered them out of Egypt and led them through the wilderness.

    This list is short of ten, but these are some people I would like to talk to.

    • You have an interesting list! I actually met Switchfoot by accident. I was at this industry breakfast in Nashville, and I didn’t know anybody. I started talking to the people by me and said (like a dummy), “So, what do you do?” It was pretty funny all things considered. 🙂

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