I am soapstone


Today’s post comes from the Daily Prompt: I Am a Rock.

Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?

I HATE asking anyone for help. It’s not that I’m arrogant. It’s that I hate being a burden. When I feel like a burden, I apologize–even when I’m not a burden. And when I apologize, I annoy people. And when I annoy people, I feel worthless. I crumble. And then I HATE feeling that way about myself. I don’t want to empower others by letting them think they made me feel weak.

So, no, it is NOT easy for me to ask for help.

But does relying on myself make me a rock?

Am I sturdy, unmoving, hard, strong? I already admitted to crumbling, so there goes that lie.

Call me Soapstone.

Soapstone is a metamorphic rock, i.e. a rock that has changed its form due to heat and pressure that occur with the shifting of the tectonic plates.

Well, now.

Though soapstone may crumble, there are a few other characteristics that make it interesting.

  • It’s easy to scratch the surface of soapstone, even with a fingernail. It’s sensitive.
  • It’s also durable and moldable and works great as an insulator due to its low electrical conductivity.
  • Soapstone is resistant to acids and alkalis.
  • Artists rely on soapstone to create inlaid designs and sculptures. It also works well as a counter top, a cooking surface or a gravestone.
  • Soapstone absorbs, stores and radiates heat. It’s a great material for a fireplace.
  • Because soapstone is so easy to work with, it’s known as “the quiet stone.”
  • Some people say soapstone has a calming effect.

But back to the topic — asking others for help. It’s just something I’m not comfortable doing. But lately, it seems I’ve had to humble myself and just say, “Help.”

In the last month, my computers have gone bonkers. I don’t know how to fix them, so I’ve had to ask for help. I don’t know how to get back into the writing game, so I’ve had to humble myself and go back to my mentors and say, “Help.” And I won’t even go into all my other issues. I need help. But I’d rather give it.

I am a rock. I am soapstone.

No, I don’t have thick skin, but my sensitivity allows me to communicate with others on a deeper level. I’m approachable. I’m flexible. I go with the flow.

I teach, and rarely do I ever lose it in the classroom. I absorb a lot. I don’t always have to be right. And all things considered, I’m pretty resilient. I don’t break down that easily.

Simply put, when it comes to asking for help or relying on myself, I am a rock.

Get your writing game on and try out the Daily Prompt. You can find it here: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/daily-prompt-self/ .

“My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.” ~ Psalm 18:2

I’ve built walls, / A fortress deep and mighty, / That none may penetrate. / I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. / It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain. / I am a rock, / I am an island. ~ “I Am by Rock” by Simon and Garfunkel




15 thoughts on “I am soapstone

  1. Aye, another point of intersection with my good twin — I will almost never ask for help, much for the same reasons as you. I don’t want to be a burden; I don’t want to admit weakness; but maybe mostly because I fear being disappointed. My motto (which I am trying desperately to shake), “Never ask nobody for nothing cause that’s probably what you will get”.

    Yep, I reckon I am a rock. I fancy myself to be a geode. Nothing to look at, maybe even a bit ugly — but on the inside, crystals and sparkles and exquisite beauty that VERY few will ever see. You know, it often takes a sledge hammer to open up a geode… Naw, I reckon I’m not THAT tough.. just guarded. Age is softening me though. Perhaps a few more years shall see me become barrite rose or something. 😉

    Note — I am a rock hound from WAY back. Got hundreds of geodes and all sorts of pretty rocks and arrowheads from across the country.

    • I am fascinated by geodes. I think they’re magical in a poetical kind of way. I really like your response better than my post. You have such insight.

      I have found that a lot of people say, “I’ll help you, but when you go to ask…finally, they don’t.” Ya know, I really don’t like that feeling. Nothing is usually what you get. But then, people aren’t perfect. If you put your faith in a person, you’ll always be let down. I hope nobody ever puts all their faith in me. I let myself down daily. I can’t even count on myself.

      • I shall have to hunt up a geode just for you. 🙂
        Aye, perhaps (admittedly) part of the reason I cannot ask for help — if the person DOES help me, I will “owe” them, and I might let THEM down.
        Truth is, everyone is gonna hurt you. You just gotta decide who is worth suffering for.

      • True. I want to be very careful that I don’t make people feel like they owe me if I help them. AND I don’t want to feel as though I am owed anything. If that feeling creeps into my being, I snuff it out. I despise that feeling–it’s selfish. The greatest gift of all is unconditional love. I always hated the idea of “I will love you if ….”

  2. My grandfather and I enjoy studying and collecting rocks. Soapstone is intriguing.

    Thank you for sharing the Daily Prompt. I’ll have to check that out sometime.

    • Sometimes we take for granted some of the most beautiful things until we take the time to open them up and see the treasures inside. Nicely written and thought provoking.

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